Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
