Kareoke will never be a sober sport
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
