Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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