His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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