can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
