Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
