Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
