I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
