i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Screwed.edu
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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