So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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