Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How naked do you want me to be?
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