Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
