I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
