If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
