took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
