I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
