Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
