Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
