I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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