Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
