It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
