Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
