We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
