can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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