It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
