i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
