If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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