You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
