It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
