is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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