Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
