Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
