I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize