I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize