that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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