Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
