my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
