Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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