I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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