TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
