That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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