she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
