its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize