I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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