Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
