ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
