Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
4 words: hood of his car
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
