Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Boobs are out for the taking
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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