Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
