awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
