Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
