I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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