I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
