no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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