OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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