it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize